I love spontaneity. The random act of love. Being romanced by my wife. A friend calling up and saying what are you guys up to ? How about we catch up for lunch, a coffee or go fishing ?
A few days ago my wife asked me a question that brought an amazing revelation to me around spontaneity. She asked if we were going to take a trip away this year ? I said; ‘yes, where do you want to go’? And followed with :’Why don’t you organise it’? She was silent. Then it hit me like a freight train, I had always planned the holiday’s we took. No wonder she was silent. I started looking at our relationship and things I just did as a matter of course. The Lord started showing me there were areas of our life together I had taken control of with no discussion or agreement. These areas had deprived her of true freedom in our relationship. What was meant to be an ‘open hand’ for either of us to dream and decide on, was one sided. When I’d processed this, I felt compelled to ask her for forgiveness and promised to make changes.
Then the Lord recounted to me numerous conversations I had with people around spontaneity in their relationships. He showed me a common answer; ‘oh my wife/husband always does that’. To be honest I had not realised that this level of complacency had entered into our relationships. Complacency is the enemy’s weapon against life in abundance ; able to bring death in so many areas of our lives. As I looked back over the years I started seeing aspects of my life that were constrained or destroyed by compliancy. Potentially in all areas of our lives. John perfectly pens this :John 10:10 (NIV)10 The thief comes only to steal, and kill and destroy……In fact complacency is mentioned in the bible, in word or through themes 5,810 times ! Biblical meaning of complacency :‘A self-satisfied state of negligence or carelessness, especially in relation to one’s personal situation’.
If you do a quick search of the effects of complacency on the the internet you’ll find numerous articles of how it can lead to issues, and even deaths ! Top experts call complacency the ‘silent killer’ and I have come to agree with them.
So how do we guard against this ‘silent destroyer’ in our relationships with ; family, community, workplace, ministry and God?As I mentioned in my last post, the greatest weapon the enemy has is to create a lie that leads us to fear change. So we keep doing the same thing, the same way, which is called familiarity but sadly familiarity breeds complacency. As one lie often gives birth to another half truth, mis-truths and complete lies in our lives !
So my question to the Lord was this : ‘Lord how do we guard ourselves and maintain a level of awareness against this ‘silent killer’? A great verse came to mind ; one my wife and I have journeyed on for a long time : Proverbs 3:5-6 (Passion Trans)5 Trust in the Lord completely,and do not rely on your own opinions.With all your heart rely on him to guide you,and he will lead you in every decision you make.6 Become intimate with him in whatever you do,and he will lead you wherever you go.Don’t think for a moment that you know it all,I believe the Lord said to me the secret to avoiding complacency is to embracechange, to see it as a start to an amazing adventure. Some time ago I had this person come to me with a problem regarding intimacy in his marriage. The Lord told me to tell him it was nota curse but a blessing and a great opportunity to see this area of their relationship go to another level. But it would only come with change. He took the advice and weeks later shared a testimony that intimacy in his marriage had gone to an incredible new place and hence their relationship too ! I have the impression that the Lord allows obstacles in our lives to lead us to change ; change away from complacency. Otherwise we would be like the people of Israel in the dessert going around and around until death overtakes us !
So here is your challenge today :
1. Ask the Lord to reveal to you which area’s in your life you are living in complacency : marriage, family, community, business / workplace, ministry etc ?
2. Write these down.
3. Ask the Lord to show His path for change in these area’s.
4. Thank the Lord for all He has revealed.
5. I suggest you share this message with those close to you. You may feel the need to ask for forgiveness as I did with my wife.6. Find someone to journey with you in your determination to break free from complacency in every area of your life !
Now you have an incredible opportunity and an invitation in front of you ! A doorway to life in abundance ! But it is your choice ; to embrace or reject ? To do the new thing or continue on habitually doing as you have in the past (doing the old thing) ! Here is a prayer you may like to pray : ‘Father I choose today to embark on, or reject your journey of change’. For those who choose to embark on the journey of change. Here is a second prayer for you : ‘Father I ask you to lead me and guide me on your (predestined) path for me. I lay down those areas (You’ve revealed) where I have slipped into complacency. Forgive me Lord, and help me fully trust in You with all my heart while putting aside my own understandings. Grant me courage to embark on this course of action, and embrace all you have for me to do. That I will walk in your ways from this day forward’. ‘Wow, Father what a journey of discovery ! What an opportunity to join in agreement with You. That I may become all that You created me to be’ ! Amen
Craig and Winnie Patten
Itinerate Pastors / Apostolic Leaders
Encounter Ministries
